Goldberg & Associates




Parental Alienation Consultant

How We Can Help

Welcome! My name is Joseph Goldberg and I am the Founder and Principal of Goldberg & Associates.

Our consulting practice is focused on helping to repair parent-child relational problems influenced by conduct that causes estrangement, enmeshment, and parental alienation; many parent-child relational problems also develop because of a hybrid combination of these factors (estrangement, enmeshment and parental alienation).

We Provide Consulting Services:

  1. To parents, lawyers and other professionals involved in high conflict divorce and/or to parents going through a high conflict separation.


  2. To parties involved in high conflict custody disputes.


  3. To help parents with children expressing visitation/access refusal behaviour.


  4. To help parents with issues involving parental rejection and/or to parents at risk of later becoming rejected by children. Many parent-child relational problems develop years after parental conflicts subside. One example is when a child awakens to a realization that a lost or damaged parental relationship was caused by parental alienation. Adolescent and adult children who are victims of lost or damaged parental relationships (caused by parental alienation and who awaken to this realization), often experience feelings of great loss combined with feelings of rage, resentment and rejection towards the parent that inculcated the alienation. Social science research is converging that alienating parents are unaware of this dormant rejection, and the risks of a permanently lost relationship with their child. (Darnell, 2001, Baker 2006).


  5. To parents who are self-representing due to financial limitations, but still have an interest in obtaining our consulting services to repair a ruptured parent-child relational problem.


  6. To parents who are falsely accused of parental alienation and want to retain us to help disprove this allegation. Parents falsely accused of parental alienation are exposed to changes in custody which could potentially expose their child(ren) to the negative influence of a parent; in some situations with a parent that may be abusive or a danger to the child's welfare. As parental alienation becomes more widely accepted in the courts and as more and more cases of parental alienation become effectively litigated, parents falsely accused of parental alienation are at a greater risk of losing custody and the protection of their children.


  7. To mental health professionals seeking scientific research and psychosocial references to make a differential diagnosis or a clinical evaluation. For efficacy in treatment of parental alienation and in other diagnostic parent-child relational problems.


Many parents and professionals do not understand the behaviour of an alienated child. One of the main reasons that this is true is because non-experts do not know what happens when a parent succeeds in alienating a child. In such situations the alienated child might say something like :

"Nobody told me what to say and I'm old enough to decide who I want to live with."
This example is frequently stated by children as young as 7 years of age.

A non-expert will not see or even look for the influence of a programming parent and regardless of what a non-expert would see or hear, the alienating parent will deny any prior programming and attempt to cover it up by encouraging the child to speak up for his or her quasi-adult rights.

This strategy is what helps alienating parents to advocate for a child to have their own lawyer; or for the child to talk privately to a judge; or for the child to make up false allegations about a rejected parent; or to encourage the child to change their name; or to pressure a child to reject all the extended family members on the side of the rejected parent; or to seek out a school counsellor to protect them at school from the rejected parent coming to pick them up ; or to keep secrets from the rejected parent; or to pressure younger siblings to step up and join in the tribal rejection of the non-favoured parent.

Many judges, therapists, and lawyers assisting children will very often accept at face value, whatever they hear from an alienated child because they cannot differentiate between a child who is realistically estranged... from a child inculcated with parental programming.
1. If judges, lawyers and other professionals can't tell the difference what chance would a rejected parent have in figuring it out? They couldn't and shouldn't try to figure it out. Parents are not experts in making this differential diagnosis and it is often times their unwillingness to alter a belief that it is parental alienation and an unwillingness to trust this diagnosis to a professional that can make this assessment which prevents the parent from ever repairing their parent-child relational problem. For these reasons it is important to start with an understanding that many parent-child relational problems are not pure cases of parental alienation and do have hybrid elements of estrangement, enmeshment and parental alienation. We focus on repairing the problem in the relationship no matter what the causal factors. Parents should share the same objective we have and stay open to understanding causal factors before giving up, becoming overly reactive, displacing blame unfairly on the legal system and professional providers because they will very likely still need the legal system and the providers to help them in their own reunification with the child.

Children who are alienated may appear intelligent, mature, doing well in school and in all their other social interactions. Some that reach an age in adolescence are empowered to make the choice of having or not having contact with a parent - often times a parent that has never been proven to be abusive, neglectful or sustaining significant parenting deficits.
2. Many parents make contributions to a child's rejection because of patterns of behaviour frequently identified as being overly rigid, overly passive or overly controlling. Many times this behaviour is also exaggerated and mythologized by an alienating parent when only a kernel of the truth can be linked to an allegation.

Any child living with a parent who considers it acceptable to leave the child in a state of unresolved anger towards the other parent (either because they prefer a favoured status with the child or because they fear it might weaken the child's empowerment) should immediately retain us to reduce the psychological harm to the child.

Parental alienation is a recognized form of child abuse.

Another problem is that many alienating parents have personality disorders. Some are narcissistic, and others are borderline personality disordered individuals. This fact is based on scientific research, not on the personal opinion of this consultant; however, I have worked on countless cases where the psychopathology of the alienating parent is clearly present.

Rather than risk harm in confronting and agitating a
spouse that may have a personality disorder, you should
retain us for self-protection and to protect your child.

Dealing with such desperate and dangerous individuals is a minefield full of risk. The longer you tempt fate the more likely you are to be a victim of your own poor judgment.

Alienating parents do not have an awareness of the harm that they cause to their children. Similarly but for different reasons, many rejected parents are in denial that they've contributed to the child's rejection, even when only a small portion of the child's rejection is valid. They wrongly assume taking responsibility for even a small part of a child's rejection could jeopardize their chances of custody or visitation. This leads to very poor decision making on the part of the rejected parent. The good news is that rejected parents have a much more realistic opportunity to correct their past mistakes and avoid them in the future, but only with help from parental alienation consultants, and mental health professionals.

The internet is a valuable resource for parents who struggle with rejection from children but there is also a vast amount of distorted information being echoed by polarized factions including fathers rights organizations, women rights organizations, movements for equal parenting, parental alienation entities and politically funded groups. With all these dissenting and opinionated voices it would be easy for anyone to get lost in who is right and who is wrong. That's another reason why you should retain us to focus on your particular problem.

We relieve the burden for rejected parents by giving them boundaries for appropriate behaviour and communication with their child(ren) and with the other parent. We lower the risk of false accusations causing a greater amount of chaos. We help reduce litigation expenses and work on the litigation support issues that help expedite therapeutic and legal interventions.

If you are reading and relating to much of what I have to say, please take my advice. This is not the time to run out and read books on parental alienation. This is not the time to jump into a support group where there is a cacophony of opinions. This is not the time to put your entire budget exclusively in the hands of a lawyer.

This is a time to talk to a parental alienation consultant.

Who would you rather trust to micromanage your crisis - an expert or a non-expert ? Non-experts offer advice that will sound good - but from my experience their advise is consistently mixed with false apriori assumptions which only contribute to delays in getting the guidance you will need.
Periculum in mora

We Offer A Free Consultation

Many parents who have given up hope are locked into the belief that the child they love is so severely alienated nothing can change the dynamic. However, what looks like parental alienation, isn't always parental alienation. There are many parents who are self-diagnosing the problem and because of this they do not understand how causal factors do influence the behaviour of their children.

Rejected parents need hope. When reviewing your case we will examine the forensic history within the family dynamic, and we will provide you with a scientific and evidence based understanding of your child's behaviour, and in many cases help you to restore the damaged relationship(s).

Extended family members are also rejected by alienated children, so are many individuals that marry into a blended family. They to have a stake in the restoration of the dysfunctional relationship and it's often times a member of the extended family or a newly married spouse that seeks out the consulting services we provide.

A parent being denigrated by a child is apt to experience emotional burn out from the suffering and loss. How can these parents hope to parent a severely alienated child without expert guidance? Most will not be able to do it without a consultant and a mental health professional to help.

We do what other professionals are unwilling to do. We offer you the help you need 7 days a week.

By comparison lawyer's are frequently never around when you need them most and you'd be lucky to get a lawyer to even return your call within 24 to 48 hours. Many times clients tell us, "I'm now working with my second (third or fourth) lawyer." I'm sure that there were times when you felt alone, with nobody to tell you what you should have done or could have done differently. Put an end to that by retaining us to give you that consulting assistance now.

We commit many hours of pro bono time on every case.

Why?


A parent-child relational problem is a serious matter. It often involves a parent that will stop at nothing to turn a child against the other parent. Crimes are being committed. Abuse is real, not imaginary. When it doesn't involve their children the problem is not looked upon as all that dire. I am not knocking other professionals, I am merely stating a fact in a clinical and objective way. Only someone totally dedicated to seeing the child protected, seeing things through to the end is going to be able to measure up to the warfare that these cases present.

If we didn't give pro bono time to each case the costs of what we actually do could never be afforded. Perhaps the greater joy in doing the work I do is having a case that succeeds and many do, others improve over time.

That is why I do this work and why I give my time to people in pain when they call me at midnight, on weekends, or holiday's. It's why I bring their family members together to galvanize their strength because they cant do it only with love and resources - it takes more. It requires going over and above what even the client would have a right to expect. It's their children I am thinking of when I work on their case. There's nothing more noble in life than the good deed of helping children and parents in emotional pain.

When people talk about divorce and litigation support
professionals who are only out to suck the financial life
out of you, remember that it's not true of everybody.


Family law lawyers are non-experts in parental alienation. Most family law lawyers (even the one's practicing 25 years or longer) do not know how to find or even refer their clients to mental health professionals accredited in parental alienation. This is a serious matter when choosing a professional for a psychological evaluation or to provide counseling for treatment.

Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc

This is the #1 reason why so many psychological evaluations end up with the wrong conclusions and poor recommendations.

It is also the # 1 reason why lawyers fail to refer their clients to the right mental health professionals for counseling. Our consultancy can ensure that this problem in your case does not suffer the same fate. How would you feel if you spent thousands of dollars towards an intervention in counseling only to have it end up being ineffective in changing anything. More than half the clients that contact us have already lived through this experience and in spite of it all, many of these poorly assisted parents end up benefiting from our services because we can redirect them to more qualified mental health professionals.

Mental health professionals also need a great deal of support in obtaining psychosocial research and references to support the diagnosis of parental alienation.

Why?


For several reasons. The cost of a practitioner reviewing hundreds of peer reviewed articles, books and monographs dealing with the science of parent- child relational problems is beyond the cost of any one patient. This information needs to be supplied to a therapist in order to save time; to save money; and to provide better testimony in court if asked to explain how they arrived at a diagnosis.

We can provide this clinical research to mental health professionals. Moreover, there is an abundant level of interest from mental health professionals seeking us out for these services. Without our help many relational problems would never get repaired.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

We thank you for your interest in visiting our website and in considering our consulting services for your case.











Parental Alienation Consultant:
Expert in Parent-Child Relational Problems. Services are provided to family law lawyers,
mental health professionals, mandatory state providers of divorce education programs and to parents.



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